Welcome to The Ruffington Post, an unconventional dog blog created by Lyla Evans, who has never read a dog blog in her life, and her smarter, more sophisticated dog Lex. If you’re looking for helpful advice, you’ve come to the wrong place. But if you’re looking for some entertainment and a lot of dog puns, then you’ve come to the right place.
A few weeks ago, my sleep was disturbed at 3:00am by an oddly specific nightmare. In the nightmare, I wasn’t being chased by an axe murderer, or cornered by zombies, and I didn’t forget to pay my car payment for the 45th day in a row.
In it, I was a person who intentionally stood in front of tourist-y spots like the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, or any big water fountain in literally any New York City park, and waited there in silence. I found myself lingering around beautiful churches and botanical gardens all around the city, waiting for tourists to ask me to take a photo of them. I would then enthusiastically reply “yes”, because in my ‘nightmare life’, that was the only human interaction I came across. What is normally an inconvenient obligation for me in real life, was a favored hobby of ‘nightmare me’ because of the potential for socialization, which was something I lacked everyday.
Basically, I had a dream that I was going to die alone.
So, of course, this dream made me question every social-related thing in my life. I’ve always been insecure about my difficulty making and keeping friends. And I’ve always envied the sorority girls on Instagram, posting colorful photos of them and their friends in matching tube tops. So perhaps, I thought, this was a sign to call up that friend from four years ago who called me a b*tch? Four years is enough time for people to gain some sense, and I mean, that sounds better than dying alone. Maybe it was time to take on some new hobbies like Soulcycle? Or yoga? Or more realistically, non-exercise related things?
I kept wondering, were there potential spots for socialization that were instead consumed by other tasks? I don’t work too much. I don’t drink too much. I don’t watch Netflix too much. And I definitely don’t study too much. I don’t have many hobbies, so what was it that was consuming my time?
Probably this guy.
I spend a lot of time with my dog. Since his adoption five years ago, he’s seen it all. He’s been with me as I cried over sitcom finales, fought with boyfriends and neglected cleaning my room everyday. And as you can imagine, I’ve been with him through it all too. As a rescue dog with a horribly abusive past, it took Lex a while to trust anyone. But around a week in, he opened up only to me. He told me of his biggest fears, his aspirations, and his long time dream of being a contributing writer for an up and coming WordPress dog blog with a cool dog-pun title. (Okay, the last part didn’t happen but I have to keep the imagination alive). Then, he became my best friend.
Whether or not I am Lex’s best friend is questionable. I mean, do dogs have a favorite? I don’t know. All I know is Lex and I were a match made in heaven. Or a match made via www.eskiesonline.com.
There are many beds in the house he could throw up on but he choses mine. And there are many pairs of shoes he could destroy but loves destroying mine the most. He also sleeps in my room (90% of the time) and often cries when I leave him. I know that Lex loves all of us so much, but as a 21-year-old with three friends (one of which who is my Mom), I’d like to think I am his best friend. And if you couldn’t already tell from the fact that I devote quality ‘socializing’, ‘studying’, or ‘soulcycling’ time to a blog about Lex, he is my best friend as well.
So I guess you could say I’m not alone. I do have Lex. And my 22 blog followers. Who are mostly my family members.
But before the infamous Ruffington Post skyrocketed to 22 followers, it was just an assignment for my Blogs, Tweets and Social Media class. I struggled for a while to choose a topic when my professor told us we had to create, and keep up with, full functioning blogs. I thought if I wasn’t an expert on something I couldn’t cover it. But in actuality, my blog doesn’t have to follow the traditional route of a typical dog blog. Because I may not be an expert in dog care, but I am an expert in being obsessed with my dog. Also this is the internet so anything is possible.
Lex and I hope you enjoy the posts we put out every week for The Ruffington Post. And we promise they will be more thrilling than this 950-word justification of my lack of human companions.
Ah…who am I kidding? Lex will continue to critique doggy fashion trends. And I will continue to detail my best-friendship with a dog, which I frame as endearing. And you, will know that deep down it is actually weird as hell.
Thank you for following The Ruffington Post Mom, Dad, Papa, aunts, uncles, random guy following me from a WordPress technology blog, elderly people who can’t see very well and thought they followed the actual Huffington Post, classmates who were required to follow me, cousins, computer-generated bots and grandma.
We hope you stick around.